On with the story!

*In scrolly Star-Wars text...you know what I mean* Goku Son, international person of mystery, was frozen sometime and then defrosted some other time to battle his nemesis, Vegeta.

After following his archenemy’s plan to blow up the universe, Goku banished him to live on earth in peace, (Hehe, I can see that one coming), and settled down with his already wife Chi-Chi, to live somewhat happily ever after.

Or so he thought...or didn’t thought...whatever...

Out in space, next to a spaceship.

Astronaut: Huston, this is the Concord, we are doing EVA with the payload. We are about to present the module with...*turns around, seeing a giant Big Boy go across his visor* Oh my gentle Jesus...!*Big Boy goes by the ship five times bigger* Huston, uh... We have a problem.

Egg lunches from Big Boy’s behind, and an eviiiill laugh comes.

*In military text, (on earth)* Meanwhile...where we last left Goku...

*While discussing things...thinking of what to do*

Chi-Chi: I’m going to get us some more champagne, jungle boy. *Rewinds* I’m going to get us some more champagne, jungle boy.

Goku*blinking*: Are you okay?

Chi-Chi: I’ve never felt better, Goku. *breaks bottle in hand*

Goku*still confused*: alright then, I’m just going to watch a movie. *Goes over to TV* Hey, Dumb and Dumber, that’s my favorite movie. *Rewinds it on screen, behind Chi-Chi is rewinding herself, going backwards and such. Goku realizes it behind and get up, pressing the stop button on the remote; Chi-Chi stops.* Chi-Chi, what’s going on?

Chi-Chi: What do you mean, Goku? I’m the same Chi-* presses the mute button as she continues to walk closer.

Goku: Hey, cool!*presses the rewind button, then play, the rewind, then play. After about a hundred times he finally pushes play again, but in Spanish*

Chi-Chi*continuing her sentence*: (invert Spanish words...Hey, I’m not a language genius, and I don’t want to look everything up).

Goku: Oh my god your possessed!*Presses the English button, and Chi-Chi grabs him by the throat*

Chi-Chi: I’m not possessed dimwit!*Goku pulls on her face, and it comes off as a metal plate*

Goku*in a choked voice*: Oh, then you’re just a Fembot. Okay then.*Machine guns come out of...well, just think hard for a moment and you’ll figure it out. Fembot Chi-Chi throws him to the ground.* Machine guns! I didn’t know you had those!

Fembot Chi-Chi*Shakes head in annoyance*: Just shut up and die, Goku!

Goku: No way! I don’t have to take this!*Does a Kamahamaha and blows up the room, Fembot Chi-Chi along with it. He realizes that breakfast is being served and goes downstairs without a thought in mind.*

*Military text, (believe me you’re gonna have a lot of it in this story)* NATO monitoring facility, GUAM

*Military guy is watching the monitors, seeing things going on all around the world, when he looks at one with Cable on it. Apparently it’s the Jerry Springer Show.*

*Intro music on TV, close up of Jerry*

Jerry: Okay if you just joined us today our topic is ‘My father is evil and he wants to take over the world’.

*boos from crowd; close up of several different evil types with their sons.*

Jerry*waving over for him to enter*: Okay let’s meet Trunks Briefs!*walks in, sits in chair* Okay, Trunks nice to have you with us. Tell us about your father.

Trunks: Umm, well, my dad is the head of a world wide evil organization with aspirations of world wide domination, or really universal domination.

*boos from crowd*

Jerry: Wow...stuff. Where is he now then?

Trunks: How should I know?

Jerry: Well, we have him in back here. Okay, let’s bring out Trunks’s dad!

*boos from crowd as Vegeta enters. He gives them a cold gaze and some hush. Things are thrown at him and Vegeta blasts the person who threw it. There’s not even a cricket sounding when he sits*

*back at base*

Military guy: uh, general, we have a situation here.

General *coming over with a ham sandwich in his hands*: What is it sergeant?

*on TV*

Vegeta: Hello, brat. What’d you get me pulled on this forsaken show for?

Trunks*shakes his head*: How can you do this to me, on national television!

Vegeta: well throw me a frikin’ bone here! I am your father!

Trunks: Yeah, a father who embarrasses me on national television!

Vegeta: Oh shut up, no one watches this show anyway.

Trunks: oh yeah, what about those military guys?

Vegeta*sergeant and general eye each other and turn back*: What military guys?

Trunks: Those guys in the TV!

*Sergeant quickly shuts off the television.*

*Meanwhile back...somewhere*

*Goku flies along and gets to Roshi’s house, where a top secret government agency is located. Don’t ask, but it takes a long time to get there while we go to another scene*

*Vegeta’s Headquarters Seattle, (in a Star Bucks tower)*

Piccolo: Vegeta, several years ago we invested in a small Seattle based coffee company.

Vegeta: Why the heck would you want to do that, you green freak!

Piccolo: Uh, I was just getting to that. Today, Star Bucks-

Vegeta: What kind of name is that? Star Bucks? Sounds like some whacked up Namekian name to me.

Piccolo:...Anyway, today Star Bucks offers premium quality coffee at affordable prices.

Vegeta: What kind of idiots are you! If it’s premium coffee you sell it at high prices!

Trunks*mumbling under breath*: What a moron.

Vegeta: I heard that brat!

Piccolo: ‘Ahem’ Continuing with what I was saying, delish! *Hands Vegeta the coffee* Vegeta, if we shift our earnings away from eviiiil empires and towards Star Bucks, we can increase them by five fold!

Vegeta: Look, I’m evil, and so I’m stay with evil empires. Understand, green freak?

Piccolo*shrugs*: Your loss...Vegeta, while you slacked off and enjoyed you banishment on earth, we here began a program to clone you.

Vegeta: WHAT?!?! Why on earth would you do that?!

Piccolo*shrugging*: Got bored I guess. Anyways...Frau.

Bulma*nods*: Send in THE CLONE!

Piccolo*as figure begins to show up in front of door.* We tried to make him almost exactly like you.

*Door opens, a reveals Chibi-Vegeta, which was five times small than Vegeta (now that’s mini!)

Trunks: What the...?! What is that thing?!

Piccolo: He’s a clone of Vegeta...just five times smaller.

Vegeta*with despicable gaze*: Excellent...*everyone stares, and he coughs* Uh, I suppose he’ll have to do. I guess I’ll call him...*close up for Vegeta, putting a pinky to the side of his mouth* Mini-Me. *They still continue to stare, and he coughs again* Uh, did I say Mini-Me? I meant, uh...Chibi Vegeta! *They still continue to stare, and he just shrugs.*

*Chibi Vegeta walks over and rotates a chair next to Vegeta, making him level to him.*

*Vegeta asks for Mr. Bigglesworth, who just continues to sit in the corner with a small version of him*

Trunks: What’s up with the fur-ball?

Piccolo: Well, we had some trouble with the last cat and...needed a replacement.

Koren*coughs up a hairball*: And it ain’t as easy as it looks.

*Vegeta and Chibi Vegeta blink, then coughing yet again and turning forward*

Vegeta: As you know, the very things that I try to do has been either foiled or stupidly stopped by my rival, Kakarotto. And why is that ladies and gentlemen?

Trunks: ‘Cause you never kill him when you get the chance to and your named after a vegetable.

*Chibi Vegeta comes crawling across the table, ready to blast a mini shot a Trunks, but Vegeta shoes him not to. Chibi Vegeta gives Trunks the finger, and Bulma squirts him with a water bottle, making him sit back down*

Vegeta: Anyways, Kakarotto always defeats me because his stupidity is overwhelming. I mean, come on, you expect him to do something like blow up the controls for my evil death ray when he just slips up and trips on the main power cord! But besides for that, I have created a device which is called a ‘time machine’. Using this ‘time machine’ I will go back in time to when people were really stupid and destroy the world!

Piccolo*coughs to get attention*: Uh, Vegeta, people are already stupid.

Vegeta: Don’t you think I know that?! I was just saying I will go back in time to where people were really stupid, so they won’t know of what I’m planning!

Trunks: If you gotta time machine, though, why don’t you just go back and kill Goku when he’s like a baby or something? Seriously, or maybe even conquer the universe when people aren’t so powerful.

Vegeta: You just don’t get it do you, Trunks. How ‘bout no.

Piccolo: Well why don’t you use your future knowledge and steal banks and such. You can make trillions.

Vegeta: Why make trillions when I can make...*close up again with pinky to side of mouth* Billions?

Trunks: Idiot, a trillion is more than a billion!

Vegeta: Y-you what you can just cram it, Trunks! Sip it!

Trunks: You know you can’t even-

Vegeta: Sip it! Siiip..

Trunks: Look, all I’m-

Vegeta: When a problem comes along you must sip it!

Trunks: Piccolo will you back me u-

Vegeta: Me ho ko chi wa. Subtitle: Sip it.

Trunks: All I’m say-

Vegeta: SIIIPPPPP IT!!!!!!!!!! *Trunks crosses his arms and shuts up* Alright, now as I was saying. Unveil the time portal.

*Wall opens, revealing a cheap looking spiral device.*

Vegeta: What the...!! Don’t tell me I paid a million dollars for this hunk of crap!

Bulma: Actually, you didn’t buy it. You threatened my father to make it.

Vegeta: Yeah, well, whatever. *gets up and walks to time portal* Well, I’m about to travel through time. So long, suckers! *Runs up the ramp and into the metal setting, falling back*

Piccolo: Uh, we haven’t started it yet.

Vegeta*rubbing his face*: I knew that; I knew that! So, what are you waiting for, get it started!

*People scurry about as wheel begins to spin. Chibi Vegeta walks up net to him, and when portal is at full speed they jump in, twirling with it and disappearing*

*Back somewhere in time, a younger Piccolo stands in the same place. Shaking his head, Vegeta looks around, noticing everything is the way it should be*

Piccolo: Vegeta, welcome back to...somewhere in time.

Vegeta: No thanks to you, green freak! But besides that-”

Bulma: Hello Vegeta.

Vegeta: Bulma you look so...*His face twisted up, seeing that her face hadn’t change from the same plastic look* you.

Piccolo: You know, we got your memo from the future. Your new layer is up and running.

Vegeta: Is it a hollow, dead volcano like I requested?

Piccolo: Yeah, it is.

Vegeta: Good. Then it’s all going perfectly to plan as long as Kakarotto does screw it up like the last three thousand times he has! *Suddenly everyone comes over and stands around him, even people who have absolutely no importance in this story, and start laughing eviiillly for about five minutes until the scene fades*

*returning back, Piccolo, Bulma, and Vegeta are sitting around a table discussing things.*

Piccolo: Well, unfortunately everything we tried failed in getting into Fort Knox and the Ministry of Defense where we thought we could crack all their secrets.

Bulma: Their lawyers are just too much and too many, huh?”

Piccolo: *nods*

Vegeta: Well I have someone that can get passed all the Ministry of Defense’s

rabid lawyers.

Bulma: You do? Even past that Android 17 lawyer?

Vegeta *turns chair*: Yes. *turns back* He’s getting the plans of their secrets as we speak.

Bulma: He is?

Vegeta *turns back*: Yes. *turns back* He’s a disgruntled fatso with his known temper uncontrollable eating habits.

Piccolo*horrified look on his face*: You’re not serious!

Vegeta: Oh, but I am. He weighs a metric ton and his name is...Fat Yajirobi.

*gasps throughout the room*

*Now, finally Goku gets to Roshi’s house, where he’s going down an elevator to a top secret, high classified, unknown base and being told things*

Roshi: Reports show that Vegeta has one back into the past and plans to take over the world.

Goku: Again? Well, not back in the past but...again?

Roshi *nods*: But luckily we too have developed a time machine of our own that will send up back to...the time where Vegeta is!

*Goku and Roshi walk up to a team of scientists stationed around a weird painted clown-car that could barely fit a monkey*

Roshi *after Goku jumps in car*: Well, good luck Goku.

*Car suddenly spins and Goku is transported to this freaky multicolored place with a bunch of lights*

Goku *getting out of car*: Wow look at all the pretty color!

*Girl in short-shorts comes up to him with this old music playing*

Chi-Chi: Hey, handsome!

Goku: Hey you look just like my former wife that turned into a Fembot and blew up!

Chi-Chi *smiling*: You won’t believe how much I get that. Anyway, you wanna join me as an international spy and try to defeat Vegeta and his evil plans to take over the world?

Goku *shrugging*: Sure, why not. But on the way can be stop at a Fry King’s? I’m starving!

Chi-Chi: Sure, why not? *And so they go outside after beating up a munch of bad guys that came out of no where and hopped into Chi-Chi’s Swiss-made American car, driving off down the road.*

*Coming to a roadside of no where they soon are chased my a beaten up old British car, where a guy in a fez is driving. Guy in fez starts shooting at them, and soon enough Goku pulls out a finger and shoots a tire out, making the car skid off the road and off a guard rail into a gorge.*

*Chi-Chi and Goku get out of the car, going to the edge where Krillin with a fez hat come up and onto the road.*

Goku: Hey Krillin!

Krillin: Hi ya Goku! Sorry, but Vegeta hired me to kill you.

Goku: Why?

Krillen: I don’t know, but he said he’d pay me a lot a 18 was going to blow a gasket if I didn’t take it!

Goku: Oh I get. Well, I understand then.

Krillin: Okay then. *Pulls out a knife and lunges at Goku, who just swerves to the side and Krillin passes him*

*Chi-Chi soon grabs him in a headlock and keeps him there*

Chi-Chi: That’s what you get for attacking my new guy! *Krillen and Goku stare at her with a sweat drop, but shrugged well after*

Goku: Who sent you?!

Krillin: What?!

Goku: Who sent you?!

Krillin: I just told you!

Chi-Chi: Tell him or you can kiss your hat goodbye.

Krillin: No, not my hat, anything but my hat!

Goku: Then tell us!

Krillin: Alright, alright I’ll tell you. Vegeta! There!

Chi-Chi: Where’s Vegeta hiding?

Krillin: Like he would tell me! You should know better than that!

Goku: Alright then, where did you last see Vegeta?

Krillin: In his secret volcano layer.

Goku: And that is?

Krillin: In...*He’s shot at repeated, making Chi-Chi step back in fright and having him fall off a cliff. They turn and see Chibi Vegeta driving away in a car, holding and over sized Thomson in his hands while standing through the moon roof. When he drives away, they go to the ledge looking for Krillin.*

Goku: Poor guy. Shot repeatedly with a Thomson.

Chi-Chi: Yeah, what a way to go. Oh well. *Walks back to car*

Krillin *echoing*(and for all of you with weak stomachs I suggest you skip this part. And believe me, this is all from the movie so don’t blame me!) : Hello? It appears I have fallen off a cliff, I’m still alive, and I am really badly injured. I think my legs might be broken, but I’ll try to stand up. *There’s a loud crack and a thud* Yes, they are broken! Perhaps you can toss me down a bandage or some anti-bacterial cream. I’m in extraordinary a lot amount of pain, the bone has gone through the skin. I feel as if it may be a bit gangrenous and it is beginning to smell a bit like almonds, which is not good. Please...no one...?

Goku *shrugging*: Sorry.

Krillin: Well I’ll try the other leg. *Loud cracking and a thud*

*Back on Vegeta secret island volcanic base, Vegeta yells about how his assassin is now dead. Suddenly the ground begins to shake widely.*

Piccolo: What the heck is that?

Bulma: A volcanic eruption!?

*Soon enough Fat Yajirobi comes walking through the door, an almost stripped-dry chicken leg in one hand, the papers in another*

Vegeta: Meet my operative in the Ministry of Defense; Fat Yajirobi.

Fat Yajirobi: First things first, where’s my payment?!

Vegeta: You’ll find all your tubs of lard in the mess hall.

Bulma *whispering to Piccolo*: It’s definitely gonna be a mess once he’s done in there.

Vegeta: Give me the papers.

Fat Yajirobi: Here *hands them to someone else to give to Vegeta* And I do hope that all seven hundred tubs are in that hall.

Vegeta: Yes, all tubs are there now go pig out or something.

Bulma *running over a toppling Vegeta*

Vegeta: Ah! What the...! What’s your problem, woman?!

Bulma: You know you’re cute when you say things like that.

Vegeta *in an almost depressed tone*: Oh, I can see where this is going. *waves his hand* Okay, everybody out. *everyone obeys*

Bulma: Tee hee, now you’re mine.

*M.O.D place*

*Chi-Chi is already there, discussing what happened to all the super-secret spy papers*

Goku: So what happened?

Chi-Chi: Apparently it seems a rogue guy named Fat Yajirobi infiltrated this place and used a special gas to knock out all the guards and they don’t remember a thing.

Goku: Ooh, definitely didn’t want to be there when he cut the cheese!

Chi-Chi: Yes I know.

*Suddenly scenes switch and are now in London, totally different clothes on and everything*

*Okay enough of that, just getting back to Vegeta!*

*At Vegeta’s place...*

*Vegeta and Bulma have coffee before work, talk, Trunks come back, and then goes to his plans for taking over the world*

Vegeta *With everyone sitting and listening in front of him*: Ladies and gentlemen I’m about to explain my plans for talking over the world or blowing it up so sit down and shut up.

Piccolo: Vegeta, we’re already-

Vegeta: I said shut up! Anyway before I was so rudely interrupted, we have reached phase two of our evil project, or is it phase three...I don’t know phases. Anyway, this is the phase where we put a giant ‘laser’ on the moon. As you know, the moon rotates around the earth like so. *pushes miniature figure of moon around figure of earth, but it only goes half way. He blinks, then goes over and pushes it around manually* When the moon reaches it’s appropriate lunar alignment, *pushes it over Washington DC* It will destroy Washington DC. You see, I have turned the moon into what I like to call a ‘Death Star’.

Trunks *starts laughing*

Vegeta: What?

Trunks: Ah, nothing Darth.

Vegeta: What did you call me, brat?

Trunks: Uh, nothing *sneezes fake sound* Rip off!

Vegeta: Bless you...Anyways the key to this plan is the giant laser! It was created by the earth physicist Dr. Allen Parsons therefore we’ll call it the Allen Parsons Project.

Trunks *starts laughing again*

Vegeta: What now?!

Trunks: The Allen Parsons Project was a progressive rock band in 1982! W-Why don’t you just call it operation Wang Chung, idiot!

Vegeta: Only you would know that Trunks, only you. Besides what-

Trunks: Oh, I’m sure Operation Banana Ramma will be huge!

Vegeta: Well what are you saying-

Trunks: If you and your-

Vegeta: Sh!

Trunks: Look if you’re trying to be hi-

Vegeta: www dot sh dot com dot org

Trunks: Your so-

Vegeta: Sh!

Trunks: You always-

Vegeta: Sh!

Trunk: You-

Vegeta: Knock-knock

Trunks: Who’s there?

Vegeta: Sh!

Trunks: Look-

Vegeta: Sh, even before you start! That was a preemptive sh! Just to let you know I have a whole bag of sh! with your name on it!

Piccolo: Vegeta, if we can put aside family squabbling for a-

Vegeta: No! I’m not done yet! *clears his throat* SH! ‘Ahem’ okay, you were saying?

Piccolo *stands up*: Now, as I was saying, I think we can get down to some serious business.

Vegeta: Really? I don’t like that insolent tone. *Picks up large rubber figure of world and starts bouncing it like a basketball*

Piccolo: Uh, I meant nothing by it!

Vegeta: No, no, no, no, you wanna run things here, is that it?

Piccolo: No not at all.

Vegeta: Huh, you wanna be daddy, is that it?

Piccolo: No not-

Vegeta: Huh, green freak, you wanna wear the daddy pants?

Piccolo: Huh? Uh, not at- *Is hit in the face with the rubber globe; globe bounces back to Vegeta who continues to dribble it*

Vegeta: You gonna cry green freak, you gonna cry now?

Piccolo: N-no- *is hit in the face again*

Vegeta: Huh? You gonna cry, you gonna squirt some is that it?

Piccolo: N-*Is hit in the face again. This time he starts balling into tears*

Vegeta: Yeah, see, you gonna cry, you’re a big man now. Yeah, thought so. *Throws ball from far distance and makes it in the holder. Does his victory dance as the crowd cheers.*

*Back at a lab somewhere, results come in that Vegeta is in a hollow dead volcano. Goku asked how they found it and he said his face was carved into it, so logically he’d be there, and so they head off to Vegeta’s hollow dead volcano.*

*But back at the hollow dead volcano Bulma, Vegeta, Chibi Vegeta, and Piccolo all sit around the table once again. And yes it’s THE table*

Piccolo: Uh, Vegeta, there are some slight problems we need to discuss about Chibi Vegeta.

Vegeta: Why is he not fitting in? Is he giving that creepy Umpa-Lumpa vibe?

Piccolo: No it’s not that it’s just that...Well, he’s a biter. *Pulls up savagely torn up hands and puts it on the table, lifting his arm and having bite marks of where his wrist would’ve attached*

Vegeta: Well what’s wrong with that? You can regenerate!

Bulma: He also bit off my foot *throws mauled disfigured foot onto table and shows the bite marks of where her ankle should have been. There was another foot and ankle there, though* I had to have my dad make be a whole new set.

Vegeta *mumbling under breath*: Yeah, and I wonder what else is fake. *coughs, turning to Chibi Vegeta* What’s wrong Chibi? Something you want to tell us?

Chibi Vegeta: *shrugs*

Vegeta: Teething. Anyways, get me Public Broadcasting!

Piccolo: Uh, Vegeta, the president-

Vegeta: Shut up! I know what I’m doing! The president should be on public broadcasting because he’s for the public!

*Piccolo turns on giant monitor to Public Broadcasting, and Vegeta screams in horror*

Bulma: What is it?

Vegeta: Holy mother of pearl! What are those things?!?

Piccolo: I believe they’re Teletubbies, sir.

Vegeta*screaming*: AH!! Shut it off, shut it off!

*Piccolo turns off the monitor as Vegeta recuperates. He stares deadly at the rest of the crew*

Vegeta: Why didn’t anyone tell me that was the station of those evil creatures?!?!

Piccolo: Well you did say-

Vegeta: And you took my word for it?! I’m a Saiya-jin for cryin’ out loud! How am I suppose to know anything about earth television! Anyway, just get me the president of somewhere!

*Image shows up on screen of the super-secret highly classified TV in the White House.*

President: What do you want, Vegeta? You’ve gained your freedom here as a legal alien, and now you’re trying to take over the world?

Vegeta: Yes. Anyways, in 12 hours I will destroy Washington with the giant ‘laser’.

President*sigh of relief*: Few, not here!

Vegeta: Not Washington state, moron, Washington DC!

*gasps from the Presidential room*

Vegeta: Mr. President, after I destroy Washington DC I shall destroy every major city every hour on the hour unless I am paid a hefty ransom!

President: What kind of ransom?

Vegeta: I don’t know, money of some sort.

President: Well, how much?

Vegeta: Hmm...*Jeopardy music starts to play. Soon he shrugs* I don’t know you come up with it.

President: Okay.

Vegeta: You have six hours. *TV shuts off*

Piccolo: Vegeta, what are we going to do about Goku?

Vegeta: How many times do I have to tell you that he is to be named Kakarotto!? But besides that, we should not worry about him. He is like the snake to my mongoose....or the mongoose to my snake, either way it’s bad. I don’t know animals. But I do know this...this time it’s personal.

Trunks: How?

Vegeta: I don’t know! But who asked you!? Just shut up and kill him!

*Out on the ocean, Goku flies in with Chi-Chi and lands on the beach, setting up camp.*

Chi-Chi: That was a lovely trip.

Goku: Yeah, but I think I’m a bit sea sick.

Chi-Chi: You weren’t even at sea! But at least we know we’re in the right place. Look at that sign! *Points at sign that says ‘Super Secret Vegeta’s Hollow Dead Volcano. All trespassers do not trespass.’*

*In tent*

Goku: Vegeta’s headquarters is right over that ledge.

Chi-Chi: Uh, Goku you’re holding the binoculars backwards.

Goku: Oh, right....I knew that.

Chi-Chi: Well, let me take a look. *Forces binoculars our of Goku’s hands and almost chokes him with the cord around his neck* Yep, that it alright. Let’s go take a look at the map. *Pulls him inside, still cord of binoculars around his neck, and makes him run into a metal bar*

Chi-Chi: So Goku, what do we do? *picks up bag and puts it on table to the side of Goku, lights lamp to the side as well*

Goku: Well the map says the island’s surrounded by Vegeta’s guards.

Chi-Chi: So? Can’t you just blast them?

Goku: I guess...But anyway, we have to find a way in.

*Guards surround tent, but something makes them stop*

Chi-Chi: Let’s see what’s in this bag and make a dirty joke to all those are watching. *Goes deep to find explosives in the bag but it looks like she’s going through his behind*

*Begins to pull out a rope, which takes awhile to get out. Then an umbrella comes out, and then a smoke bomb goes off....The guards’ faces twist up and one says “These people make me sick...!” Finally, she pulls out a gerbil.*

*Piccolo informs Vegeta that he’s on the island, and Vegeta tell him to bring him to him...Alive!*

*Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!*

*Oops....Sorry, got carried away there.*

*Anyways, Chi-Chi finally finds the explosives and the guards shout that they have them surrounded. Goku and Chi-Chi stand, and Chi-Chi picks up the bag, making round things, (probably mothballs) come out and look like they’re dropping from Goku*

*Back inside the layer, Vegeta and Chibi Vegeta are about to launch off*

Vegeta: Ladies and gentlemen, in a few moments we’re gonna take the ‘laser’ to the moon. From my ‘Death Star’ I will destroy every major city on the planet, including Washington DC.

*Chi-Chi and Goku enter, wearing wacked up uniforms*

Vegeta: Ah! Mr. Kakarotto and...whatever your last name is. Welcome to my hollow dead volcano! This is my associate Fat Yajirobi which has no importance of why I just said that! Good bye, Kakarotto, for I shall blow up the world or rule it or something! I can’t make up my mind but either way it’s all good! PUT THEM IN THE JAIL CELL!

Goku: Cell is actually a jail? I thought it was some sort of green bug thing!

Vegeta: Ah heck! Just throw them in some lava or something!

Goku: I’ll get you, Vegeta, I’ll get you!

Vegeta: Oh look at me I’m shaking in my little space boots!

Trunks: Great plan, Einstein. You’re gonna put them in a cell with one guard! They’re gonna escape! You always do this!!

Vegeta: You know what, Trunks, I’ve been a frickin’ evil guy for over thirty frickin’ years! Cut me some frickin’ slack! You also forget, Trunks, we’re in a volcano. We’re surrounded by liquid hot magma. Anyways, take Chibi Vegeta and put him in the spaceship! Gentlemen, I’m about to go to the moon!

Bulma: Hey, I’m not a man!

Several women workers turn and shout, causing a chilling echo: Neither are we!

*Vegeta blinks, then shrugs. There’s a loud sigh and then things continue as normal.*

*Bulma begins the countdown at five before they’re even in the space ship*

Bulma: FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO....!

Vegeta: Woman, begin the count at thirty.

Bulma *nods*: THIRTY! TWENTY-NINE!...

*Vegeta and Chibi Vegeta get in spaceship, waiting for it to end....so does everyone else. Spaceship doors open, and Vegeta speaks*

Vegeta: You know what, when the doors close just say go.

Bulma *nods. When doors close...*: GO!!!!

*Spaceship launches from hollow, dead volcano*

*Oh gosh, do I have to write this next part...? I guess I do, don’t I? Well, it’s all from the movie so...*

Soldier: Colonel, you better take a look at this.

Colonel: What is it son?

Soldier: I don’t know, sir, but it looks like a giant...

Pilot: Dick

Other pilot: Yeah?

Pilot: Take a look out at starboard

Other pilot: Oh my god, it looks like a huge...

Woman birdwatcher: Pecker!

Man birdwatcher: Oh where?

W birdwatcher: Wait, that’s not a woodpecker, it looks like someone’s...

Drill Sergeant to troops: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object! It is a long, smooth shaft, complete with...

Umpire: Two balls! Wait, what is that? It looks like an enormous...

Chinese Teacher: Wang! Pay attention!

Student *pointing out window*: I was detracted by the flying...

Band player: Willy.

Willy: Yeah?

Band player: What’s that?

Willy: Well, it looks like a giant...

Colonel: Johnson!

Soldier: Yes sir?

Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

Soldier: Why them, sir?

Colonel: I don’t know, it just popped into my head. Just phone someone important!

*On the moon, Goku and Chi-Chi are pushed into a small space where the floor is opening into a lava pit*

Chi-Chi: What do we do?

Goku: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Chi-Chi: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Goku: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Chi-Chi: I don’t know, what- Ah screw it! *Takes out a giant frying pan and whacks the armed guard over the head with it. He stumbles in and falls into the lava pit. With this they both get out and stand in the doorway. Goku then starts making stupid puns.*

Goku: What a...burn? *Both laughs slightly* That sort of thing could get a man...fired? *Both laugh slightly again* I think he was...hot for you?

Chi-Chi: Oh really, how could you tell?

Goku: I don’t know, I couldn’t think of any other stupid pun to back it up.

Chi-Chi *running out*: Well that’s enough.

Goku *running after*: Right.

*On Vegeta’s moon base*

Vegeta: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my moon base. You’ve all been chosen to be apart of my elite moon unit, which has been divided into two divisions: Moon unit Alpha, and moon unit Zelpa.

*Trunks laughs slightly*

Vegeta: Look I didn’t ask for you to be here so just shut up! Anyways, in exactly six hours the moon will move into its orbit around the earth bringing Washington DC into range of my ‘laser’. Begin ‘laser’ ignition sequence!

Bulma: Begin laser IGNITION!! *slaps side leg with horse whip; everyone squirms in fear.*

*Things are said over monitor, while Vegeta tries to rotate chair he’s sitting in with joystick. Chair starts going in shifty circles while Vegeta starts to sit up off the floor*

Vegeta: Okay, alright.....All I asked for was a frickin’ rotating chair! *Chair continues to jolt, as he continues to say ‘okay’ every time it does and tries to sit on different angles of the chair to hold on.* Okay...Okay, getting a little afraid...I need an old priest and a young priest...The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! *Chair rotates in one direction, then jolts to the other and goes around quickly. When it finally comes to a stop, he leans over and spits* Okay, sick as a dog now. *Gets up, and charges a blast that explodes the chair and set debris flying everywhere* HAHAHAHA! Thought you could fool me, could you! Well, look who’s having the last laugh!

Everyone: *sweat drops*

*Meanwhile, Goku and Chi-Chi fill in arrangements to hitch hike to the moon, (Don’t ask me how)*

*back at the moon...*

Vegeta: Arm the ‘laser’!

Bulma *coming up in a cockpit in the center of the room*: Arming the LASER!!! *again, everyone squirms* laser ARMED!!!

Vegeta: Get me the president!

*TV monitor comes on, but Vegeta screams that oh so familiar scream and jumps behind his chair. Trunks laughs out hysterically with the remote still in his hands. The chilling words of the purple creature echo through the halls, Bulma jumping out and taking it from Trunks, slapping him on the back of his head*

Bulma: Trunks, don’t scare Vegeta like that! You’re going to give him a heart attack! *Flips remote to the Ultra Super Secret TV screen in the White house*

President: We have your money, Vegeta, but it wasn’t easy.

Vegeta: ROSHI?!?! How in the world did you become president?!

President: The other guy retired. You wouldn’t believe how many girls you get with this job!

Vegeta: Riiiigghht... Well anyway, why should I care how hard it took you to get the money?

President *tear in his eye*: Because I used the last of my magazine savings...

Vegeta *sweat drop*:...Well, you have exactly thirty minutes to get it to me. Chao, Muahahahahaha!!!”

*TV shuts off*

President: Oh jeez, I can’t believe we’re gonna pay that mad man! *looks to red phone. Picks up dialer* I’ve got nukes up the ying-yang, just let me launch one for....!!!!

General *stopping him*: Mr. President, are you suggesting we blow up the moon?

President *desperately*: Would you miss it? Would you miss it?

*Then they get to the moon and enter*

Monitor entering system: Airlock open. Airlock closed. Enjoy your stay on the moon.

Chi-Chi: Let’s find Vegeta.

Goku: Well what else would we do, Chi-Chi? Go to the casino?

Chi-Chi: Shut up Goku.

Goku: Sorry....Anyway, let’s split up.

Chi-Chi *balling into tears*: You mean you want a divorce? Well fine, be that way!

Goku: No, I don’t mean it by that! Just that we should go our separate ways!

Chi-Chi: *Starts crying even more, mascara running down her face.*

Goku: No, no! I mean we should go on our own paths now.

Chi-Chi: *Starts kicking and screaming. A puddle of water starts forming on the floor.*

Goku: No...uh, how can I put this to you....Need to find Vegeta differently in hallways of base. Understand?

Chi-Chi *getting up as if nothing had happened*: Oh, well why didn’t you just say so? *Skips down into the next hall*

*Goku shakes head in pity, walking further through the hall. Chibi Vegeta suddenly jumps out, jumping up and starting to choke Goku. He starts punching him, but Goku flips him over his shoulder. Before he could turn, Chibi Vegeta does a leg grapple on him and flips him over. Chibi Vegeta does a body slam on Goku’s back, and does it three times over. He lifts his head up by his hair and starts twisting his nose, slamming his head into the floor and jumping off. He picked up his head again and does a few knee kicks in his face, then taking his small thumbs and poking Goku in the eyes. He punches him another five times, and then kicks him in the...gut. Chibi Vegeat picks Goku up and begins twirling him around several times above his head, soon throwing him back to the ground.

Goku: Oh, come on! No more, I can’t take it anymore! The smallness...it’s too overwhelming!!

Chibi Vegeta *in a real deep voice*: Too bad, old timer!

Goku: Old timer...?

*Chibi Vegeta kicks him in the face again, getting on his back as Goku gets up, and starts choking him. Goku flips him over his head this time and into a poll.*

Goku *in a sympathetic voice*: Poor little bugger.

*Chibi Vegeta suddenly get to his feet and charges at Goku biting him*

Goku *in pain*: AH MY KNEE!!!

*Chibi Vegeta backs away, shaking his head. He jumps up into the air, going into a kick in slow motion. Goku scratches his head, confused.*

Goku: What’s with the slow motion?

Chibi Vegeta *shrugs*: I don’t know. Thought it would be cool.

*Time speeds up and Chibi Vegeta rips through Goku’s space suit, crawling around for a few minutes. Goku goes over to the bathroom and sits on the crown, (and for all of you who don’t know what that is at this point need to get a life or a slang dictionary if you’re not American). Anyway, he presses the ‘eject’ button and his suit rips, Chibi Vegeta floating out into space at the back window.*

Goku *shakes head in sympathy*: Poor little bugger... *Takes off suit and runs down hall in his original orange costume*

*Goku goes into the room where all the plans are taking place, pointing a hand at Vegeta*

Goku: Hold it right there Vegeta!

Vegeta: *Starts cracking up*

Goku: What’s so funny?

Vegeta: Oh yeah, tough guy, stop in the name of love!

Goku: Huh?

Vegeta: Talk to the hand, girlfriend! *Vegeta falls out of his chair, unable to control his laughing*

Goku *looks at his hand, and then holds it out again*: I don’t see what you mean.

Vegeta: Of course not, your too stupid to know that I have your wife locked up in a gas chamber while you chose whether to stop my death ray or save her!

Goku: Oh no, you mean you’re gonna have someone cut the cheese?!

Everyone: *Starts laughing hysterically*

Vegeta *controlling his laughter somewhat*: No, baka, just look!

*A wall turns over to see Chi-Chi handcuffed and behind glass, but having a table set in front of her with cook items.*

Chi-Chi *reading a cookbook*: Oh so that’s how you make the sauce for chicken alfrado! Huh, I would’ve never guessed.

Goku *shouting and holding out a hand as if to stop it or something*: No Chi-Chi, don’t cut the cheese!!!!

*Everyone turns seeing a block of cheese on the table*

Vegeta *sweat drop*: You won’t believe how ironic that is... *Cough* Anyway, you have your choice!

Goku: Of what? *Eyes brighten* You mean I get a buffet?!

Vegeta *rolling eyes*: No, idiot, I just explained this. You choose between the life of your wife or the launching of the laser.

Goku: Oh, and I thought I got a buffet. But hey, that rhymed!

Vegeta: Just shut up and choose!

Chi-Chi *fluffing hair before and putting on makeup*: Don’t worry about me, Goku, just save the world or something!

Vegeta: Fire the ‘laser’!

Bulma: Firing the LASER! *everyone, including Goku, squirms*

Goku: Does she always do that?

Vegeta: Yeah, I must be a habit or something.

*Goku runs forward, kicking Bulmas hand on the aim and making it fire off course.*

Bulma: Oww, that hurt, Goku!

Goku: Sorry. Hey, what happened to your screaming?

Bulma: Oh right... *Clears throat* Oww, that HURT, GOKU!!!

*on earth*

Roshi: YAH! We’re saved!

General: Uh, Mr. President, your check for the date with a playmate bounced.

Roshi: NOOOO!!!!!!! THE HUMANITY!!!

*back on the moon*

Vegeta: HAHAHAHA!!! I guess you one the battle, Goku, but I have won the war!!!

*Goku looks to the heart monitor and saw that it flat lined, but Chi-Chi was still wide awake.*

Vegeta: DARN IT!! Stupid American imports!

Piccolo: Uh, we got that from Japan, Vegeta.

Vegeta: SO WHAT! I’ll rat on the Americans if I want to!

*OH NO YOU WON’T!! NOT IF I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!!*

Vegeta *running out the door in fear*: NO!! She’ll kill us all!!!

Everyone *including I*: *Sweat drop*

Chi-Chi *Breaks through glass*: Goku, what are you standing around for?!?! Go after him!!

Goku *still in trance that I spoke*: Oh r-r-right. D-don’t what to make the author mad.

*Just go and finish the story, Goku, before I turn you into a vegetable!*

Goku: *Runs after Vegeta in horror*

*Goku meets up with Vegeta in hallway. Vegeta now has on a space outfit where he had to turn on a switch to speak. Goku fires a Ki blast, and Vegeta stops, turning around*

Vegeta *turns on switch*: OWW!! You shot me you A-hole! *turns off switch*

Goku: And now I’m going to send you to the next dimension!

Vegeta *turns on swicth*: Why do you have to be such a wuss all the time? Just say you’re going to kill me, or destroy me, or something that doesn’t sound so fu-fu!!! *Turns off switch*

Goku: Well, I’ll do something!

Vegeta *turns on switch*: Before you do that *turns switch to the ultra deep voice* Know this...*takes a few slow, deep breaths as all rip-offs do* Goku... I am your father.

*Dum-Dum-Dummmmmm!!!!*

*Sorry...Just had to add that in*

Goku: Really?

Vegeta *turns switch to regular voice*: No, not really. I can’t back that up.

Goku: Right...idiot. Yes.

Vegeta *starts waking around*: But isn’t interesting, Mr. Goku, that you would rather kill me instead of saving your precious Chi-Chi?

Goku: What do you mean? She’s not dead.

Vegeta: Yes as I so had intended, due to the... *Looks up to see that I’m not around* cheap Ame-

*Don’t even try it, Vegeta!*

Vegeta: Sorry, sorry, don’t hurt me! *Shivers* Anyway, this place is going to blow in a matter of minutes so you can either shoot me or save Chi-Chi.

Goku: Can’t I do both?

Vegeta: No, sorry, you can’t. *Runs away around the hall after turning off switch. Goku blinks, then goes after him. But a shot came at him and he was forced to turn back, going for Chi-Chi.*

*Bulma stands behind and puts gun to her side. Vegeta tries to say something but Bulma can’t hear. Vegat shouts it, and still Bulma can’t hear. Finally he turns on switch.*

Vegeta *shouting*: GOOD WORK!!! *feedback, and he falls to the floor*

*back at room, the place is collapsing.*

Chi-Chi: What are we going to do, Goku?

Goku: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Chi-Chi: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Goku: I don’t know, what do you think we should do?

Chi-Chi: I don’t know, what do...Wait a second! DON’T START AGAIN! Just get into the time machine where we don’t know where it came from so we can warp back to present time to our home!

Goku: *blinks. Chi-Chi grabs his ear, however, and presses a few buttons, making it go back to present and jumping in, as everyone else did soon after*

*Vegeta launches away by himself in his spaceship.*

*back on earth, in the past after Vegeta picked up Chibi Vegeta*

Roshi: Did we get Vegeta?

Soldier: No sir, he got away in the spaceship that looks like a giant...

Parent: Weiner? Any of you kids want another Weiner?

Kid: Dad, what’s that?

Parent: I don’t know son but its got great big...

Vendor: Nuts! Hot, salty nuts! Who wants some? *looks up* Lord-o-mighty!

Lady who stands up: That looks just like my husbands...

Circus guy: One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-eyed monster!

*Guy jumps out and yells, but stops when he looks up*: Hey, what’s that? It looks like a big...

Waitress: Woody!? Woody Harrelson? Can I have your autograph?

Woody: Sure, no problem. *looks up* Oh my lord, look at that thing!

Waitress: It’s so big!

Woody: Nah, I’ve seen bigger that’s...

Vegeta *holding syringe*: Just a little prick. It’s a flew shot. You’ve been in the coldness of space I don’t want you to get sick or nothing. It’s one thing to attack me, it’s another thing to attack my other me, and it’s enough to attack everyone. *Looks to screen* I’m going to get you, Goku! I’m going to get YOU!!!! Muhahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Muhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aha....”

*uh...that’s most of it. But then there’s this after part too so...kind of like an epilog, I guess...*

*back on the Jerry Springer show, it’s an after show of what happened in the beginning*

Jerry: Today we’re doing a follow-up of a segment we did a few months ago on fathers who are trying to take over the world.

*boos from crowd*

Jerry: Let’s begin with Trunks Briefs. Now, what’s going on with your dad?

Trunks: What do you think? He’s messed up and he tried to take over the world with this stupid laser and failed...again.

Jerry: Well, Trunks, we have a surprise for you.

Trunks: What, my dad?! It’s him isn’t it?! I knew he was going to get revenge on that Teletubbie incident!!

Jerry: No, it’s not your dad! We had too many lawsuits from the last time he was on the show. It’s actually your mom. Let’s bring her out.

*Bulma comes out and the crowd cheers, chanting*

Trunks: Mom?

Bulma: Trunks, you are the son of both Vegeta and I.

Trunks: But I thought I wasn’t a hybrid, that I was a freak of nature with purple hair.

Bulma: Lies, all LIES!!!! *audience and Jerry squirm.*

Trunks: Thanks mom. For being there and saving me from that small freak of nature Chibi Vegeta.

Bulma: You’re welcome, Trunks.

*cheers from crowd*

Jerry: You know, what have we learned here today? Well, that no one can out smart teh stupidness of Goku. Also, that Vegeta was a completely idiot for think and billion dollars was more than a trillion.

Bulma: Hey, are you ratting on Vegeta?!?!

Jerry: No, of course not!

Bulma: You were too! *pulls out paint gun from no where*

Jerry: *Runs in fear, as well as the audience.*

*Bulma starts shooting and the camera goes blank with an intermission.*

*Okay, now that’s the end. Hope you enjoyed it!*